I was out chitchatting with some of the library staff this afternoon and then I went back to my office I found a package waiting for me. I was not expecting anything and when I opened it up I found a Indiana Jones fedora and bullwhip and “The Indiana Jones Handbook: The Complete Adventure’s Guide!” How totally cool is that! The gifts are: things you will ‘need in your next career’ (having just left my part-time Reference Librarian position) and graduation gift (MA in Art History this past spring) from my friend Martha (thank you Martha!).
The book “The Indiana Jones Handbook: The Complete Adventure’s Guide” is an instruction guide for:
-How to plan an expedition
-How to use your bullwhip
-How to win a fistfight
-How to escape quicksand
-How to identify secret passageways and booby traps
-How to fend off a gang of swordsmen
-How to ride an elephant
-How to decipher hieroglyphs and lost languages
-How to escape the Wrath of God (I look ahead at this one and their instructions are “Don’t look at it. Really…Jones and Ravenwood survived, and they both kept their eyes closed. There are some things we are not meant to see” p176).
-and many more things…
The book is really, really funny. It begins, “If you have taken it upon yourself to buy this book, you’re probably not seeking the life of a traditional archaeologist, locked away in an ivory tower as you grade exams and jockey for tenure. Tedium may be a necessary part of your day-to-day existence, but you undoubtedly want more – travel, adventure, mystery. In short you want a career not unlike that of Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr., the greatest archaeologist of all time…” (p8)
But I love the disclaimer on the copyright page: “Attention all archaeologists: This book is a work of entertainment. We do not guarantee that these instructions are complete, safe or wholly accurate, nor should they be considered a substitute for your good judgment and common sense. If you encounter a poisonous snake, for example, we urge you to ignore the instructions on page 113-118 and immediately contact the local animal control center. Furthermore, you should never run on top of a moving train, climb under a moving truck, lash yourself to a submarine periscope, or go anywhere near the Wrath of God….Be careful out there!” (p4).
Indiana Aho